Whining fails, guy joins ranks of busted in I.V.

Talking on his cell phone while urinating in the bushes at a public park, a 21-year-old male was approached by deputies. It was 2:30 a.m. when the subject noticed authorities approaching and attempted to flee in the opposite direction. The subject, who was wearing a pink tie, was easy to track and after a short chase he surrendered in the 6500 block of Madrid in Isla Vista.

“I don’t want to be like my friends and get caught by the police,” the suspect whined.
When asked why he ran, he said he initially thought the deputy was a “friend from a frat playing a joke.”

He was arrested for resisting arrest and urinating in public.

Random act of kindness unnoticed

A witness working at a nearby market became suspicious of a man loitering at a bicycle rack. Unaware of anybody watching him, the subject removed a bike. As he saddled up to ride off with the stolen bike, the witness apprehended the subject.

“I’m just trying it out,” the would-be thief attempted to reason.

Gaining the attention of his boss, the witness relayed what he had seen.

By the time authorities arrived on the scene, the owner of the bike, unfazed by the random act of kindness, had already left the area on the almost-stolen bicycle.

Because the victim failed to sign a citizen’s arrest form, the subject, a 23-year-old UCSB student, was released.

Heavy sleeper

With loud music blaring from an Isla Vista apartment after 11 p.m., a violation on a weeknight, deputies contacted the resident who came to the door. Sleepy-eyed, the 19-year-old subject told authorities he had been sleeping in the rear room oblivious to the music. He was warned about the overly audible music ordinance.

That’ll do it!

Intoxicated beyond his ability to care for himself, a man walked from a nearby bowling alley and sat himself down in the middle of a neighboring driveway. Responding to the scene at 11:30 p.m., deputies found the man sleeping on the concrete. When asked how much he’d consumed, the 19-year-old answered, “About 30 shots of vodka.”

After his arrest for public intoxication, the City College student was transported to county jail.

Old enough to know better

When his sister refused to share her shampoo with him, a 43-year-old male became enraged. Violently lashing out, he struck her three times on her leg with his knee, leaving a large welt.

When deputies arrived on the scene, they met with both. The sister, 45, explained how her brother who’d “been rude all day” did not deserve to use her suds. After she signed a citizen’s arrest form against her brother, the suspect was arrested for battery. A search of his clothing revealed a “useable” amount of marijuana and rolling papers.

The brother became verbally abusive toward deputies during the arrest, the police report noted.

Who knew?

A commercial burglar stole over $1,800 worth of gardening tools from a shed at a Ward Drive business. The victim retuned to work to find a leaf blower, hedge trimmer and jackhammer, among other items, missing.

The burglar took only working power tools, leaving behind the broken ones, indicating the suspect could be a former employee. Deputies are searching for the suspect.

Excuses, excuses

On a recent weekday morning, a deputy came upon two juveniles walking westbound on Hollister Avenue. The males, ages 15 and 16, were asked if they had permission to be off their school campus. Initially explaining they were “walking to a friend’s house to get a math book,” they changed their story when asked to repeat their excuse. In the second version, it seemed they were in search of a missing “driver’s ed book.” Neither excuse let them off the hook.

Cited for a daytime curfew violation, the boys were returned to school and released to the assistant principle.

Burglar makes off with dirty gym clothes

After leaving her car unattended at the Arroyo Burro Beach parking lot, a hiker returned to find a window shattered and her gym bag stolen. A search of the Cliff Drive area did not reveal any more leads.

The victim, 53, who estimates her loss around $351, said the burglary occurred between 6 p.m. and 9 p.m.